Box Set

The life and musings of a single girl with two vaginas.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Clearing the plumbing

Even though I was made aware of my "special situation"(as my parents, at least my mother, liked to call it. My father has made mention of it exactly four times in my life, but those are stories for a later time.) at a young age, your uterus and vagina don't really come into play until your early teens. Sure, I played Doctor with the neighborhood boys, but "didelphic uterus" wasn't really one of the more common maladies that we "diagnosed" each other with.

As for the girl business involved...everyone's seen the opening scene in Carrie, where Carrie has her first period in the shower after gym class and the other girls throw sanitary napkins and tampons at her. I was lucky enough to avoid starting my little friend during the school year, instead becoming a woman (or twice a woman) over the summer months of my thirteenth year, just before I went away to summer camp. Having a more than passing acquaintance with the feminine anatomy at this point- I practically had to correct the embarassed little old lady they hired to give the "Your Bodies and You" talk to the girls in my fifth grade health class- I wasn't as frightened as a lot of girls, but I definitely didn't make the move into tampons until I was nearly seventeen. My flow only occurs from one side of my uterus, and is actually lighter than most people's, due to its' reduced size, but it can often be difficult to tell which uterus it's coming from, and while I was acutely aware of how I looked "down there" in sonograms and medical textbooks, I had no desire to go fishing around until my Senior Skip Day fell during my cycle and I found myself in the unenviable position of having to wear a bikini in front of my crush. And so, on that hooky-playing morning, I grabbed a mirror and one of my mother's tampaxes, hiked my leg up on the toilet, and four tries later, I struck gold.

After enough margarita-laced nights with girlfriends, I know this tale is shared by a lot of other girls, and that's comforting to me- no matter how embarassing it was to be two teenage girls stuffed into one body, at least it was only as embarassing and awkward a time as the rest of you had.

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