Let's Get This Out of The Way: Frequently Asked Questions
Q: Why are you providing me with a list of FAQs?
I figure I'd get it over with since everyone seems to have the same questions (further proving that the majority of the human race is comprised of total idiots). Plus, it sort of gets everyone on the same page, gives them a certain background as to who I am, what I've been through, and why I'm doing this. Besides, everyone likes a good list now and again.
Q: Can you have sex with two people at one time?
Yes, although getting in a comfortable position would be somewhat difficult. In less amazing news, you too can have sex with two people at one time.
Q: What position might that be?
I’m sure there are many positions, but I assume the most convenient would be for me to be sandwiched between two males. One on bottom; one from behind. One penetrates as the other pulls out, much like a see-saw.
Q: Do you do this a lot?
Actually, I’ve never done it. That's not saying that I will. Or, conversely, that I wouldn't.
Q: If you had your choice, would you opt to have only one?
Yes. It wasn't really an issue for me until I started dating - every man I've wanted to get serious with runs for the door upon learning about my double V. It's a dealbreaker - even the kinky ones can't seem to cope. Therefore, I haven't had a serious relationship, never been in love, and have had far less sex than you would expect of someone my age.
Q: Does this ever freak men out?
Q: Can you "seal" one of your vaginas up?No, there’s just one hole, but internally, it splits into two vaginal canals with a septum between them. It sounds less embarrassing than it is, but trust me...
Q: How long do you usually wait to tell a man that you're dating?
In the past, I've waited for the man to question my genital make-up. Upon questioning, I always spill the beans. The reason for this is that if he's down there "exploring," chances are he's in good spirits. But I changed my tune when my last boyfriend bailed. This rejection caused me to feel symptoms similar to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and caused me to seek therapy. I just can't seem to get past it at this point. My fear of rejection is manifested in extreme insecurity when I find myself falling for someone. In non-dating scenarios, I'm quite confident.
Q: So, if you want to keep it under wraps, why did you start a blog about it?
You might have noticed that this blog is anonymous. Clearly I'm not revealing my identity. In any event, the blog is supposed to be "therapeutic", or so says my therapist.
Q: Would you ever consider becoming a lesbian?
I find this question to be stupid. Would a man with two penises have to be gay? I don't see why a lesbian would be more interested in my twin cooches than a man would. That being said, if men keep running scared, I might just have to train myself to like women.
Q: Are you single?
Why, yes, I am. Thanks for asking.
Further questions can be addressed to me at email@example.com.